Radiate
by Clown Accomplice
Summary: Sometimes it's not just your DNA that has been changed: it's you. This is what happens when the unthinkable changes a woman's life forever leading her down a road she will never be able to escape. Rated K for now but that is subject for change, enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Christine Zeta closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose as she felt a migraine coming on. The math was just not working out. She was supposed to be flying into deep space next week, she was _supposed _to be at home, maintaining a planned schedule that would prepare her body to adjust for prolonged time in space. She was _supposed _to be relaxing, and yet here she was at work, trying to figure out just what would be waiting for her when she got to her coordinates. Sometimes she really hated her job. Christine opened her eyes and glared at the textured grey walls of her small workspace, she didn't think it was too much to ask to know what she was looking for, but the masses of every single substance she put into her computer didn't account for the displacement that seemed to dominate the area she was headed for. Then again, Cadmus wasn't sending her out to find something typical, unknown was the name of the game. After all, new things made better weapons than old. She set her head back down on her desk, she hated not knowing things.

Two strong hands came down on her shoulders, making her tense, "You really should be at home, Chrissy." She could hear the smirk in his tone and her body immediately lost its tension. She smiled despite herself but quickly focused into a frown and kept her head against the desk,

"Keep touching me and I swear I will rip your hands off," she growled before turning to fix a death glare on him. She held eye contact with him for a few seconds before a smile finally broke through her act. She laughed openly and took his outstretched hand, allowing him to help her up.

"Some how I don't feel too worried about it," he said with a cocky grin, pushing an elbow into her side as they made their way to the elevator. She couldn't help but smile and shake her head a little. Ben. He always made her smile. As they reached the curb in front of the ground level Cadmus building a blue sedan pulled up in front of them, window down as Amy called to Ben.

"How about we go out for dinner tonight? I brought one of your sports coats in case we pick somewhere nice. Oh, hello Christine," she said with a smile before Ben leaned in her window and kissed her cheek chastely. Christine smiled and gave her a small wave.

"Always good to see you, Amy. I'll see you Tuesday, Ben" she said, turning on her heel to head towards the employee parking lot. She took another look at the building she had just left, she wouldn't be returning here until after her mission. On Tuesday she and Ben would go to the hangar and make final preparations for deep space, then the next day would be take off. She felt her stomach drop a little at the thought, it wasn't her first mission by far, but she had never gone this far before. And once again, she did not like not knowing things.

Opening her car door she sidled into her seat, closing the door sharply behind her. Christine flipped the mirror down and looked at her reflection. Frazzled. That was the best word to describe her. Her skin was pale and too red in the cheeks, her hair haphazardly pulled into a ponytail, though that didn't prevent a few stray strands from pulling loose to add to her disheveled appearance. She sighed and tried to soothe it down to little avail. She knew very well that she would never look like her partner's wife. Amy was beautiful, golden skin and smooth blonde hair. She constantly looked like she had just stepped off a runway, by far on of the most glamorous women Christine had ever known personally. She looked again at her mousy refection and compared herself to the woman. Amy and Ben looked like they could grace a Macy's ad together, she and Ben would just look like a pity date. She sighed and pushed her glasses up her nose, pulling her car out of the lot and directed it back to her home.

Christine flipped on the lights in her apartment and made her way to the freezer, selecting from her surplus of frozen meals and sticking the small plastic box into the microwave. As it heated, she made her way over to her collection of DVDs, figuring that her schedule for tonight was already so ruined that there was really no use in trying to salvage it. After little more than a moment's hesitation she selected a movie and popped it into the player, a tiny sliver of excitement building within her at the thought of a distraction. She heard the bell ring in the kitchen and headed back towards he food, stopping momentarily to grab a fork before peeling back the plastic and stirring her food. She retraced her steps back to the couch, starting the movie. She snuggled into the couch as her anticipation began to grow- this was her favorite musical in movie form and so she settled in for the long haul.

"_You alone can make my song take flight, it's over now the Music of the Night!"_ Christine couldn't hold back her tears anymore as the heartbreaking words filled her ears. She buried her face in a pillow and felt her shoulder shake as both pity and anger filled her. _The Phantom of the Opera_ always did this to her even though she knew it wasn't real. She just felt so bad for the Phantom and she couldn't help but hate that pretty boy Raoul. Why couldn't the leading lady just see that beauty wasn't everything and that Phantom was just right for her? Christine wiped at her eyes and flipped off the television, trudging into her room without even thinking of the empty plastic bowl and fork she had left on the coffee table. She collapsed into her bed and was forced to lay there for a while as sleep eluded her. Just as she was beginning to drift away, her mind was drawn back to her upcoming mission, her dreams consumed by thoughts of what could be out there waiting for her among the stars.


	2. Chapter 2

Christine drummed her fingers rhythmically on her steering wheel as she made her way to the underground hangar Cadmus used for all of its reconnoissance missions. She turned down the steep incline into the underground parking, stopping only to verify her identity and business with the guard. As she pulled into the space marked for her, she took a deep breath to steady herself.

The ceiling lights shone almost too brightly as she made her way through the vaguely familiar corridors to the main room. Blinking computer screens only added to the attack on her eyes as she moved over to the mission commander, doing her best not to squint. As her eyes adjusted, a familiar laugh drew her attention. "Hey, Chrissy! It's about time you showed up." She grinned back at him as Ben wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "Are you ready to get rolling, partner?" Without waiting for a response, Ben moved toward the mission commander dragging her in tow.

Christine took the file that was offered to her and flipped through the pages quickly. It was nothing that she hadn't seen before. This is the area of the mission where Christine excelled. Ben ran on instinct and adrenaline alone, making him a damn good person to have on your team, especially in a tight spot, but Christine was the real brains. She made plans and calculations and she got her job done. That was what made them such a good team, in her opinion, the fact that they excelled in different areas so that they had all of the bases covered.

"Okay, so now that you are both here," the commander's gruff voice tore her from her thoughts, the twitch in his eye giving away his ill temper, "We can start going over exactly what your mission will entail. You two will be flying our new A52 Shuttle Craft Two Passenger Explorer. Step into the training module we have over here and acquaint yourself with the controls." He swept his hand towards a small white box like structure that was only just big enough to fit two people. Christine made her way towards it confidently, sliding into the seat with perfect comfort. It may make her nervous to go into the unknown, but within the confines of a space craft, she was at home. The controls were only slightly different from what she was used to, offering little problem for her but eliciting more than a few confused mutterings from her partner.

"You okay there, big guy?" she said with a smirk as he fiddled with the mock fuel injector, her smile widening when a slight blush crept across his cheeks.

"As you see there is a standard gauge set on the dash in front of you accompanied by the cargo hold recordings, this way you can monitor your holdings even if you are carrying dangerous cargo." The commander's voice filled the module, pointing out specific switches for the next hour, ensuring that both were familiar with every single switch. After she was finished, Christine slid back out of the box and headed back to where she had originally met with the commander, Ben close at her heels.

She looked down at the file again, picking it up from the counter where she had left it. "You two will be traveling to sector 237-31K, approximately 3 light years away. Since this is such a long journey, you will be given sleep pods, your ship is equipped with auto pilot and the destinations have already been set. You will be awoken automatically should any emergency arise." Christine nodded her head as she flipped through the pages again, everything he was saying was standard protocol for long missions but her ears perked as he mentioned their end goal, "Once you reach your destination, use your sensors to find novel material. If you encounter intelligent life, be cautious, try to avoid a fight at all costs. Back up is 3 years away, after all." He smiled slightly to himself as if he had said a joke before continuing, "The cargo hold is prepped for almost anything you might encounter, but remember you are looking for novel material so all instances cannot be accounted for- use your best judgement. We will see you for a final briefing tomorrow morning." He walked away abruptly, metal doors clanging shut behind him as he disappeared from sight.

Christine sighed, a little irritated that she still had no information that she could use. A arm wrapped itself over her shoulder, "Ready to go, Chrissy?" She nodded lightly to his boyish grin as they walked back out towards the garage together.


	3. Chapter 3

The blaring of an alarm clock pulled Christine from her sleep. She threw out her arms and arched her back, reveling in the stretch before freezing. Mission day. Hoisting herself from the bed, she padded down the hall towards the bathroom. Turning the knob, she put her finger in the icy stream of water before straightening and leaving the small tiled room altogether. She headed to the kitchen, grabbing a box of cereal and pouring a bowl for herself. It was hard to sit keep still, it seemed as if every time she stopped her fingers from fidgeting, her toes began to tap of their own accord. She carried her bowl back to the bathroom, running her hand under the water again to test the temperature- luke warm. A hint of frustration colored her sigh as she made her way back to the kitchen, her arms twitching slightly in her hast to get a move on. She ran her bowl under the sink, drying it quickly before placing back in the cupboard. As she turned she surveyed her apartment once more, the furniture was covered in white sheets, the windows locked with the curtains pulled over them, every knick knack was stored in an assigned spot so she would know exactly where to find them after 6 plus years.

Looking at her clock, Christine hurried back to her bathroom, stripping down and stepping the the stream without a test. Hissing slightly at the heat, she reached back behind her and turned the knob slightly cooler. She rushed through the shower, not having realized just how long she had waited for her water to heat. Stepping out, she dried herself off as best she could before wrapping her towel around her torso before popping a toothbrush into her mouth. She made her way to her bedroom where most of her travel gear was already packed. She slipped her personal computer into the case with her undergarments and Cadmus travel uniforms, making sure to lay on the the uniforms out before zipping the bag. She returned to her bathroom, cleaning her toothbrush and hanging the towel on her door to dry before grabbing a comb and departing once more. Running the comb through her dripping locks, Christine stuffed her items necessary for personal hygiene into a side pocket of the bag, following them with her hairbrush before closing that as well. She slipped into her clothes before grabbing the bag and heading out the door. She looked back for half a second before heading out into the hallway and down the stairs.

Christine pulled into the parking space marked for her, noting that Ben's sedan was already in the spot next to hers. She pushed her way through the double stainless steel doors and stopped in front of the security desk so they could go through her bags and verify he identity. Once he was finished, the security guard smiled at her, "Have a safe flight, Ms Zeta. Just continue down the corridor until it opens up to the main room, your team is waiting there."

"Yes, I know- Oh, um I mean, thank you." She smiled at him for a moment before continuing down the hallway. She turned a Turning a corner, she smacked into someones's back. Hopping aside, she looked up to find Ben staring down at her. She looked over his shoulder at Amy, her eyes red and her cheeks showing the tracks her tears had taken. "I'm so sorry, I'll just get out of your way, sorry agains. Sorry." Christine backed up, trying to get away from the couple.

"No, here, just give me a second," Ben said before turning back to Amy and taking her into his arms. Christine froze as she watched them, trapped between her desire to get away and his request that she wait. She watched as Amy's arms clasped at Ben's back, the tan, lithe fingers turning white from the strength of her grip. Ben bent his head to whisper in her ear, but the words carried to Christine anyway. "Amy, everything is going to be fine. I will be back in a while. You know I love you." He pulled back away from her, planting his lips on her forehead, "You can't come any farther, dear, this has to be goodbye." Amy's hands wound around his neck, pulling his face to hers forcing Christine to look down to her feet. When she looked back up, a watery smile was fixed on Amy's face, the woman squeezed Ben's hand one last time before gathering her composure and heading back towards to entrance of the building. Ben fixed his eyes on Christine, "Shall we then?"

The two pushed their way through another set of double doors that lead them into the main hangar. The level concrete floor was just starting to lose the harsh glare of the florescent lights above and the natural light of the rising sun filtered through the massive opening in the side of one on the walls. In front of the opening sat the streamlined structure of their space craft. They walked up the back gangplank side by side, their matching uniforms adding to the sense of camaraderie between the two. Setting her bag down, Christine began to do final checks of all their equipment. She moved about the various compartments ensuring that there was a sufficient amount of food, that the vitamin and carbohydrate injectables were correctly inserted into the sleeping pods, and that the CO2 converter was in perfect working order. AS she worked she could hear Ben in the other room making system checks and going over mission details with the control personnel in another part of the building. "Okay, Chrissy, we are ready to go." he called just as she finished stowing away her personal items.

Christine made her way to her seat, shooting Ben a smile as she strapped herself in for take off. She flipped the exhaust fans on while turning the nozzle to prime to fuel for combustion. "Systems go?" she asked as Ben prepped the braking systems and checked the lightyear warper.

"Systems go."

"Auto pilot prepped?" Her question was followed by the faint crescendo of the auto pilot system starting up.

"Wilma's ready." He threw her a grin when he saw her shake her head. She couldn't help but smile at the name he had given the piece of machinery.

"Mission Control, are we clear for take off?"

"You're a go."

Christine slid the bar to her right forward, starting the engine and sending the craft roaring into the sky. She pushed the engines to their limits as they continued to move upwards, knowing that if she let up the Earth's gravitational pull would send them crashing right back into the ground. Her stomach began to feel queazy as the compounding G's took their tool. After a few more minutes Their craft broke through the upper atmosphere and away from the plant, allowing Christine to slow their pace. SHe watched as Ben flipped the switch all the way around to engage "Wilma" before letting go of the steering controls and unfastening herself from her seat. "I tell you, I'l never get used to this view." Christine turned her attention forward, drawn from her work by the sound of his voice. The Earth seemed to float in front of them as the ship turned, to go around the planet. The beautiful swirling white overlay on the splotches of green and blue and brown were breathtaking. She sighed a little, thinking how beautiful it looked, and how nice it was to share this moment withBen, and experience he would never have with Amy… she shook her head, driving those thoughts away.

"Are you ready for a 3 year nap?" she asked with a smile as she stretched once more before heading back towards to sleeping pods.

Christine listened to Ben chuckle as the sounds of his seat fastenings coming loose drifted towards her. "Ready? Of course I am ready! I have had months of training in preparation for this nap." He laughed again as she stepped into her chamber and drew it closed, squirming a little in an attempt to get comfortable. She looked up to find him tapping on the glass covering of her pod, "Sleep tight, Chrissy." She smiled up at him, jokingly blowing him a kiss. With that she closed her eyes and pushed the button that would send her into suspended animation. Just before sleep took her, she felt the hum of the spacecraft shifting into light speed.


	4. Chapter 4

Her fists clenched, pressing hard against the back of the sleeping pod. Christine's chest heaved, her eyes still plastered shut as her body fought for oxygen. Mouth opening wide, her lungs begged for relief as the burning sensation grew hotter throughout her chest. As the pain pulled her from her induced sleep, Christine's fingers found the release hatch and pushed hard against it, sending her body tumbling to the floor of the space craft.

"Yeah, there is really no way to do that gracefully," Ben sighed from where he was sprawled on the ground beside her. Christine snorted, her hand flying to her mouth in surprise before she turned her head to face him. Breaking out into laughter, Ben pushed her shoulder as he leaned his head against the floor allowing the laughter to take him completely. Despite herself Christine felt laughter bubble within her throat, working its way to the surface until she was cackling beside him.

As the laughter died down, Christine flipped to her stomach, pressing the side of her face against the ground as she looked at her partner, "How long have you been out?"

"About 5 minutes."

"Huh… well, best be getting up then." Rising slowly from the ground, Christine placed a hand on her still tingling chest. She shook her head to clear her mind before heading to the front of the ship and taking her seat. "Right, so first we need to set the scanners." Sitting down next to her, Ben tapped at the screen on the panel before them. After a few moments, Christine reached over as well, "Oh, ah, here. We are looking for new materials, so it would probably be easier just to enter in what we _aren't_ looking for. See just set it to ignore all recognizable substances." As she spoke, Ben sat back in his chair, watching as she fiddled with the small screen glowing between them.

"As always, Chrissy, I would be lost without you." Smiling, Christine looked at her partner before remembering herself and rising quickly.

"I'm hungry, do you want me to get you anything?" She called over her shoulder as she made we way to the automatic door at the back of the Command Center. Not waiting for a reply, she stepped through the thresh hold and down the passage beyond.

Making her way to the store room, Christine stepped into the small lift, hitting the button covered in a black arrow facing down. As the floor beneath her began to sink, her fingers drummed out a pattern on her forearm. She pressed her forehead against the cool metal wall, pressing her eyes shut as she though of what was right, what was decent.

Sorting through boxes of freeze dried meals, Christine twisted her head side ways to better read the labels. She reached down to grab her talkie, "I have pasta, pork chops, um chicken soup. Any of this sounding good to you?"

A crackle sounded as his voice filtered through the speaker, "Yeah, grab me some of those chops, would you?"

"Yeah, apple sauce?"

"Of course! Do you think I'm an animal?" She rolled her eyes with a smile, grabbing the packages and choosing one containing pasta for herself. "It looks like we're having problems with the transmission receivers."

"Ben, we are 3 light years away from Earth, why are you even checking the receivers?" Using the utility knife on her belt, Christine punched three small holes into the top of the packages before placing them into the rehydration chamber.

"Amy told me to, can you please just help me when you come back up?"

Leaning against the wall as she waited for the food to be ready, Christine drummed her fingers on the edge of her talkie, "Sure, I'll be back up in a minute." Her attention was drawn away as the bell chimed signaling that their food was ready.

"I heard that ding! Hurry back, I feel like I haven't eaten in _years_. Oh, wait." Her lips pulled back into a smile again, her stomach rumbling as the smell of the food she carried wafted up to her nose. His voice sounded again as she entered the lift "Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo DOO doodoodododoo" he sang softly, urging her to hurry. Lifting a single eyebrow, Christine allowed sarcasm to envelope her tone,

"Oh, whoops. It looks like I dropped yours. Sorry, I guess you'll just have to go get another for yourself."

"Point taken, sorry." Her smile widened, proud that she had given it right back to him. It confused her, how much easier it was to be bold over the communication links rather than in person. She was more comfortable around Ben than she had been with anyone in years and still it seemed to her that all she could do was smile and remember to breathe.

"Okay, what seems to be the problem?" she asked as she set the food down beside him to lean over closer to the screen. Typing in her pilot verification, she entered into the manual override systems in the computer, choosing to bypass autopilot and the other assorted automatic features to tap straight into the center for messages. He fingers moved almost automatically, the receivers we always tricky at best and were typically only used on the short missions she was so accustomed to. "Give me a second, it's a problem with the security controls, an easy fix." Ben nodded at her statement, watching as she continued to type into the screen. Ever conscious of his eyes on her, Christine blushed red and willed her fingers to move faster. She reset the firewall and opened them up to receive all incoming messages, though technically against CADMUS protocol, she found she liked having a good idea of what was going on in the space around her. Hitting the enter key with a flourish, Christine sat back in her seat, "There. All fixed." As she spoke a white box appeared on the screen announcing that there were three messages waiting to be read.

Ben leaned forward tapping at the first message to open it. Amy's face filled the screen, her eyes red and weepy, clearly sitting inside of a car. "Hey, Ben. It is 10:34 in the afternoon on June 10th, I just watched your ship take off. I spoke to some of the people you work with and they said that if I give them the footage they'll be able to send it after you and it'll arrive around when you wake up. So, I decided to, um, keep you posted on what is happening while you're away," her voice broke off as she looked away from the camera and took a moment to compose herself. "I just want you to know that I love you, Sweetheart, and I'll be waiting for you when you get back." The screen went black before returning to the image of the unopened messages.

"Wow," Ben said, sitting back in his chair, "I mean, just wow." He tapped the second message, queuing it to start.

"Hey, Ben," said the image of Amy, a smile spreading across her features. "It is currently 3 o'clock in the afternoon on August 1st. I had originally wanted to send you a video every day, or every week at the least but your friends said that wouldn't be possible so we'll just have to make do." Her smile remained in place even as a hint of sadness spread across her features. "I've been okay but, you know, it's been hard. I've missed you. I hope everything is going alright up there, say hi to Christine for me. I love you, dear, you know that right?" Her voice cracked, her breathing growing ragged as she fought to control tears, "It's just I want to make sure you know that, you know, while you're up there. I love you, Ben. I really do."

Ben leaned forward in his seat, running his fingers through his hair before pressing them to the screen where her face had been. He looked over his shoulder at Christine, a weariness playing on his features that hadn't been there before, "I just wish I could send some back, you know." He smiled sadly before turning back toward the screen and clicking the final message.

"Hey, Ben. It is around noon on August 29th and I have something to tell you. I went to the doctor earlier this week and I just got a phone call. I'm pregnant, Ben. We're going to have a baby!" She exploded into delighted laughter, a hint of tears showing in her eyes as she beamed into the screen. "You're going to come home to a family, sweetheart! I wish I could see your face right now, I can't wait for you to know! I'm going to take this video to base right now! I love you!" She laughed again, pressing one hand to her mouth as the screen cut to black once more.

Leaping from his chair, Ben grabbed Christine by the forearms, twirling her in a circle as he laughed. "I'm going to be a father! Chrissy, I'm going to be a father!" He laughed again, planting a kiss on her forehead before pulling back with a huge grin plastered on his face.

'Ben, that's amazing!" she said, giving him a hug, "Congratulations!" When she pulled away, Christine saw the smile fade from his face.

"I'm not going to be a father, I_ am_ one. I've missed two years of my child's life, he doesn't even know who I am." Christine placed a hand on his arm, trying to think of something to say but he shook her off, taking a step back. "I think I'm going to head to my bunk, I'll talk to you later." He turned away quickly, leaving her to watch as he disappeared behind a closed door. She took a step forward to follow him but thought better of it and turned to face the control panel again. Pushing angrily at the buttons to close the transmission receiver, she curled up in the captain's chair, wrapping her arms around her legs as she looked at the space she was meant to explore. As she sat, Christine barely noticed the tears trailing down her face.


End file.
